Cockblocking 101
by fullmetalkahn
Summary: A 4-and-1 story. In which Erik and Charles keep getting interrupted by Hank, much to Erik's disappointment, and Erik finally teaches Hank a valuable lesson. Set in X-men 1st Class verse.


**Hello, crazy Internet people! So, I was watching X-men First Class for the 12th time (yes, I've counted) and this little diddy came to mind. Hope you like it, as I have never done anything like this in my life.**

**Disclamer: If I owned X-men, Emma Frost would have died long ago, the Dark Phoenix episode would have never happened, and Scott wouldn't have such a white bread personality. Also, in the movie Erik and Charles would have ended up together.**

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><p>Dr. Hank McCoy was a nice boy, Erick knew this. That didn't stop him from wanting to kill the little nerdy basted. Although some (Charles) would disagree, Erik was almost positive that Hank's mutant ability was not his intelligence or his large feet. It was his ability to cockblock Erik like no other had done before. And yes, Erik does admit to cockblocking Hank (only once! it was only once), but it seemed as Hank's doctorate degree was in Cockblocking 101. There were at least 4 specific times that Erik remembered Hank's exceptional skills in cockblocking come to play.<p>

**1)** **With a Phone Call**

Erik and Charles had been traveling to recruit the mutants Charles picked up on Cerebro. And tonight they had their first recruit, a young lady named Angel Salvadore who danced at a club. So Charles, ever the excited college student, felt like it was a great idea to celebrate with a large bottle of scotch, to which Erik agreed full heartedly.

That's how Charles ended up rip roaring drunk, laying on the hotel bed and Erik ended up buzzed and amused in a chair. The quite just finally set in when Charles said, "Did you know" pause "Erik, that you're EYCL1 gene makes you look, like, um, really really really sexy and groovy?"

Erik, how had no idea what Charles was saying, said "What the hell are you talking about?"

Charles tired his best to set up and look at the German's face. "You're eyes. They're groovy and very sexy but sad and and and the band begins to playyyyyyyyyyy…." At that moment, Charles Xavier, graduate of Oxford University, jumped on the hotel bed and stated singing some unknown, possible British, tune and hopping on the bed like a teenager. Erik couldn't help up but laugh a sarcastic laugh at the scene in front of him.

"Oh good, please stop. You sound like a dying cat," Erik joked seriously.

Charles kept singing and hopping until he slipped and landed on his back on the bed again, giggling. Erik shook his head and was in a moment by the younger man's side, sitting on the edge of the bed

"You're wasting your talents. Really. I don't know why you became a professor instead of a singer."

Charles responded with a giggle. "You'd look lovely in a blue dress, darling."

"You're an idiot."

"You're hot!"

"You're drunk."

Charles looked at Erik very seriously and was soon a bit too close to Erik's face. "You're still hot," he said with a slightly breathy tone.

For a second, neither moved nor even dared to. They just sat there, feeling each other's presence. Erik shifted an inch further to Charles. Maybe, just maybe, it's time to break the stalemate. Maybe it was time to finally see if, just maybe, if those lips were as soft as they looked, a question that haunted him since that night in the ocean. Maybe, just maybe…

RING RING RING RING RING

Charles flustered, "I think, um, you shou, um, ah…" before he lay back on the bed and sleep the drunken sleep of the angels.

Erik sighed out of anger and frustration (one can only guess what kind). He answered the offensive phone with an angry "What."

"Oh, Mr. Lensherr. It's me, Hank McCoy. Did I call at a bad time?"

**2) With a Question**

They both knew what was coming. It happened every time. They just liked the foreplay far too much to let it be.

Erik and Charles were sitting in Charles room, playing chess. Erik knew what was about to transpire. It happened almost every night. They would give each other flirty looks and shift their bodies ever so slightly. They would finish the game, and then, out of nowhere, start ravishing each others mouths and then they would fall on the bed and then…

"Erik, your move," Charles said to the day dreaming German. _And if you want to do something, just do it._

Erik gave Charles a smirk and a crocked up eyebrow. _Is that a challenge, professor lab rat?_

_Maybe it is._

_ In that case…_

Before Charles could say anything, Erik sweeps the chess pieces off the table and in one quick motion grabbed Charles, put him face up on the table and straddled the smaller man.

Charles eyes were wide with surprise. _Aren't we hasty?_

"Oh shut it, Charles," said Erik with a smirk. He moved closer to Charles face.

The door opened. Hank walked looking down at a clipboard. "Charles, do you have a second? I need to show you my idea for Sean's suit."

**3) With a Thought**

Erik was forcing Alex to run around the mansion 10 times after the blonde made a "Charles must be a magnet cause your attracted to him" joke for a 5th time. Once was enough, but 5 times was enough for Erik to force the idiot outside and stay there to make sure he didn't skip out on any laps. Suddenly, thoughts fill his mind that aren't his.

_Charles is laying on the bed that he and Erik occasionally share (when Erik isn't forced to sleep on the couch) in nothing but boxers and one of Erik's shirts. Charles voice filled his mind._

_ "Don't you think you've punished him enough? Come inside. Please. I'm ever so lonely."_

Erik couldn't stop the blush creeping up his cheeks. Charles was the only person in the world who could make Erik Lensherr blush.

_"Now you're not playing fair." Erik thought back_

_ "Didn't you tell me all's fair in love and war? Or is that only when you want to see me writhe under you?"_

_ "You know the answer."_

_ Charles slowly started shifting his body and he sit up, legs crossed with a false modesty. His face has a sexy "come at me" look._

_ "Well, why don't you..."_

_**"Professor! Come to the lab quickly! Sean set something on fire and I can't put it out by myself!"**__ Hank's voice practically screamed though Charles and Erik's mind. _

**4) With Another Person**

"Oh meine Liebe, du bist so liebenswert,*" said Erik, whispering softly on Charles skin. They were sitting in the study, cuddling on the floor in front of the fireplace, just enjoying each others presence.

"Mmmm, I do so love it when you speak in German. Say something else please," the brown haired telepath said as he snuggled closer to the German.

"Ihr Wunsch ist mir Befehl, meine Liebe,**" whispered Erik back playfully. Charles made almost a purr-like sound in response.

Erik, turned on the moment Charles made that sound, pulled the other man in for a passion filled kiss. Charles simple melted into the kiss, not even fighting as the Nazi hunters tongue plunged in to stake what he had already claimed many times before.

The only thing Erik could think about (besides the adorable man beside him, of course) was how nice it was to have no distractions around.

The door opened. Raven entered, not at all surprised to see her brother making out with Erik (nothing surprised her after waking in on them completely naked, getting down and dirty). "Sorry to interrupted the love feast, but Hank says he needs to see you guys. Apparently, it's pretty important."

…**In Which Erik Has Had Enough.**

Erik walks into Hank's lab with a look of determination and something bordering on a psychotic breakdown. Hank knew he should have run, but he also was smart enough to not run away from a Nazi hunter who can manipulate metal. "Um, hi, Mr. Lensherr."

Erik looked at the nerd straight in the eye. It took all of Hank's self-control to not shudder and/or run away screaming. "Hank, do you like your lab?"

Hank smiled awkwardly. "Well, yeah. It's…"

"It would be a great shame…" The metal table holding all of Hank's chemicals lifted slowly into the air. "…if anything happened to it."

Hank's eyes grew wide as his mouth dropped. Some of those chemicals were viscous. The others were flammable. If they all spilled at the same time…

"Hank," the tone in Erik's voice made the teen look at him without blinking, "I want you to do one simple thing for me: LEARN TO KNOCK!"

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><p><strong>All comments are love<strong>

***Oh my love, you're so adorable.**

****Your wish is my command, my love.**


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